Feminism or sexism?

by - 12:18 PM

As a young black woman, especially in this part of the world (Nigeria), I’ve encountered a lot of things. I’ve gotten my share of the bumps on our journey as black women in this world. It may not be a fair share but what is fair ? Nobody deserves to go through these things at all but they’re part of the things that make us. It’s so important that it comes up in our history and culture anytime that topic is brought up. 

It’s a man’s world and women are trying as much as possible to level up. There are feminists everywhere now, trying to make it clear that enough is enough. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for women. I just believe that there should be a balance. I’ve had people, even those close to me, treat me a certain way because I’m female. They don’t trust me to keep myself safe or they don’t think I can make certain decisions, even though a guy my age might be given much more freedom. There were times when I had to be mellow because there were a bunch of guys around and so I couldn’t do much. Why? I’m female! 
I’ve been sexually harassed severally and almost abused by men (thank God it was almost), because of this same issue—my gender. 
You just automatically feel so beaten down because of that air of authority men have and even when you have the right to speak up, you cannot. You’re seen as weak because you’re female. Some people don’t even know they’re sexist.

I know these things because I’m female and it doesn’t even get better being a black female. Women feel the need to stand up for themselves now. Again, I’m all for feminism and I know what it is aimed at. I just think it gets to the point where it’s overdone. If we’re trying to put an end to something, let’s not end up doing that thing ourselves. You’re trying to fight for women but you’re bringing men down. 
If you’re a christian, you’ll know that in the bible when God created Eve, she was made from one of Adam’s ribs. We were made from man—a helpmate—because basically they need us! We are their missing pieces. Yes, we were made out of them but Adam might have only lived for so long without Eve to replenish the earth. 
They need us and we need them too. I think that there are certain things that women need men for, and so if you’re a “feminist” and you’re painting men as demons you need to be reeducated. 
Sure, there are terrible men walking the face of the earth feeling like the fact that they have their “manhood”, they are gods. I’d like to remind you that we have transgenders now. 

Let’s learn how to balance things. I’m definitely against gender discrimination but I’d like to think that the female gender experience it more. We need the protection more. We need to stand up for each other more and that’s why a lot of females take it too far. I was at a lecture a few weeks ago and the speaker was talking on Gender Equality, but almost throughout, she made it seem like men were evil. I totally get it...we are more likely to be victims but men go through this thing too. Women have used the fact that the female gender is easily preyed on to implicate innocent men. 
In the end, what matters is how our generation is willing to break this cycle and be good to one another. Have you ever been treated differently because of your gender or skin colour...anything? Have you seen someone go through it with absolutely no way out? Please talk to me in the comment section. If you’re a feminist and you’d like to educate me for some reason, let’s also do that in the comment section. 

Comment, share, wash your hands and pray!

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  1. I think I'm more feminist that most ladies I find myself thinking about serious unfair situations women have to face how they're belittle consciously or subconsciously like how you address a letter "dear sir" if you're not sure of the gender of the recipient. I never hear of it,the "feminists" are too busy hating men

    1. Yes...a lot of females don’t even know what feminism is. They’re just using it to hate on their ex boyfriends 😭

  2. Seeing the beginning of this topic, I was a bit scared cos the subject of feminism is one that is so fragile, it can be over done and misinterpreted in a lot of ways. I agree a 100% with you and I do believe if we make conscious efforts we can achieve this balance

  3. I don't have a problem with feminists. But my question is when they ask for equality forexample equal pay in football, can they generate same amount of revenue? Can the output be the same? Cos it's just basic economics, you can't pay someone generating $6000 the same amount you pay someone generating $3000.
    Another example is when the 1 million boys were attacking different communities, these feminists were happy to be kind of protected by the men in their community. How many of them left the comfort of their beds to hold a cutlass on the street ?

    My take on the feminism issue is this, you can't ask for equality when it favours you and then crawl back when it doesn't, things dont work that way.

    I hope I'm not offending anyone with this tho

    1. You had to bring 1 million boys into this😂. I totally get you bro.

  4. I’m not a feminist...
    I support gender equality but *some* feminists just over do things and makes it actually disgusting

  5. I quite agree with you Bee. I think the key word here is BALANCE. Two wrongs never make a right.

    I think the females of our generation should rather hope to be better than equal to men in the sense that they do not make the same mistakes the men of the past generation made.

    Better in how they see themselves and in how the treat others. And with a lot more balance than we often, we can achieve this ‘better’

  6. This is a topic that can never been over emphasised on! One thing I heard about yesterday even made me sick! As a female Nigerian Citizen if you marry a foreign man, he can’t get NIGERIAN passport but as a male Nigerian citizen, if you marry a foreign woman, she can get a Nigerian passport. This is so sick, like who are those that made these rules! Feminism is an advocacy for equal rights for both gender and tbh some women are even the problems especially women from the older generation. It’s just so sick! I believe in equal rights for everyone. No gender is superior. Our sexes don’t make us less human.

    1. “Equal rights for everyone”!!!

      Thank you Oyin!

  7. Hi Bee,
    I actually feel this way most times.
    The world is filled with so many bitter people that joined the "feminist" club because their ex-boyfriend hurt them and all of that.
    People are delusional about some words and it's making them backward.
    Yes, men need attention too but I feel that this should not be drawn out to invalidate a valid point made by a woman.
    I agree that there is a need for reorientation so that is that we know what we are doing can be understood.
    However,I fell that "helpmate" line is for married people. God made Eve Adams wife to be his helpmate, "helpmate" means partners.
    I don't think any random woman should be a "helpmate" to any random guy.
    I don't think being a woman automatically makes you a helpmate to a man.

    1. Lmao...of cos not! Being a woman doesn’t make you a helpmate to just anybody. I was just trying to make a point there. It could be for married people or people that are in a relationship. I’m just trying to say that one of the ideas of man’s superiority is the fact that there was Adam first. Eve came after, but that doesn’t make her unimportant. God thought Adam would need some help and so He made a helpmate. And this post isn’t aimed at invalidating a valid point. Trust me..I get it! I’m a woman. It’s just that some people need to be REEDUCATED.

  8. Everything in moderation. That was Solomon's advice after he had sampled everything the world had to offer. I know women are being belittled, and that is very wrong, but it is also for a reason. Okay, let take an example, most people enjoy sex, but sex is simply detrimental to one of the sexes. It is the women that get pregnant and have to face the responsibility of taking care of the child. The guys just move on and seek to continue "enjoying themselves " looking for another girl to have fun with. That is why parents protect their daughters, that is why brother hunker over their sister. Women are susceptible to emotions and emotional things, that is just their makeup. My point is this, the female gender definitely deserves to be trusted more, but I dont think they should be given as much freedom and equality as they want. A knife might be good for cutting but it can also cut its owner. Thanks