Bee’s Banter : Lagos na wa!

by - 6:48 AM


How have you guy’s been doing it ?

No, seriously! We must talk about this one. My body can’t take this plenty stress. I need to go back to my real country because Nigeria can’t be my actual country. There’s always one issue or another but today I want to talk to Lagosians. How do you guys do it? Living in Lagos is an extreme sport carrying another extreme sport on the head. I’ve shared my Lagos experience with you guys before but this isn’t an issue that can only be discussed once. Every day, there’s something new to experience. As I’m writing this, I’m in a bus praying for God’s mighty hands to take me to my destination safely. I’ve had worse experiences but I still need God.

You’ll enter a bus to a particular place only to find out half way through the journey that the bus is actually headed somewhere else. BRT buses do this too by the way. It’s really stupid but that’s not the issue today. When you read this, thank God for my life because I know I’m getting off this bus safely 😭. My faith is as big as an agbalumo seed at this point.

For personal reasons I’ll be leaving out the names of the places.

So I got to the bus park, I didn’t know where to get a bus to where I was headed. I have been seeing the new BRT buses and one time I even entered one. It’s way better and faster than the normal yellow buses by the way. I was looking around for the terminus so I could check if the buses were going my way. I kept walking o...that’s how I stumbled on one uncle and then he told me enter one bus like that cos it was going my way. And truly, they were going my way, ashey (permit me to use that) the uncle is the conductor of the bus. Ladies and Gentlemen, that’s how the uncle dragged my load and took it to the bus. I was like “leave it now!” but I was obviously talking to myself. To make matters worse, bus fare was double the price. It was as if the world was laughing at me because I was broke (insert premium tears emoji here).

Have you ever gone out with your parents? When conductor wants to be unfortunate and is doubling price anyhow, they’ll walk away and price another one. Stone me o because I’m not my mummy and I’m tired. I sat down there for over 30minutes plus coro wa ni ta!

It made sense for me to pay double the price since we were going to be two on a seat instead of four. I was there waiting for two more people that’s how these bastards (I’m not taking it back) switched up on us. It was no longer two on a seat. It became three. And then four because the conductor did “ejo e ba mi sun die”. Look at these scammers o!

To make things worse, the driver was driving like a crazy man. A huge percentage of drivers in Lagos drink before driving. Let’s not even talk about the ones that drink while driving. 

I dunno if this one is high or he just has anger issues. All I know is it’s not nice. He’s breaking so many rules and fighting with the LASTMA officials. A trailer carrying a ridiculous amount of load even brushed the side of the bus severely. This guy didn’t even flinch. He was swerving like he was in a race. Imagine doing this every day. Lord have mercy!

Lagos is crazy but who wants to go back to the village?

Ps: Subscribe! I’m on my knees 😭

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