It’s that time of the month...

by - 12:40 PM

It’s the 21st day of the month
I raised my voice at my new best friend 
I honestly don’t remember 
I told myself I’d apologise tomorrow 
But then...tomorrow came and I only ended up making things worse when he tried to apologise 
And when my mother told me breakfast was ready I replied “I’m not hungry” 
It was my favourite meal 
So why’d I just walk away?

Today’s the 24th
So far I’ve thrown up in my mouth five times
Everything and everyone irritates me
Yesterday I cried when I saw a puppy 
He wasn’t dying or in pains 
My eyes just felt like crying 
I felt a little pinch in my abdomen 
What was that?
If anyone says good morning to me one more time...I might explode!
Oh my god...I felt it again...the pinch 
Only this time it felt more like a knife piercing through my flesh 

Day 28
I really just want to die 
My head feels like I was hit with a bat
There’s blood everywhere 
Why can’t I control these tears?
I can’t feel my legs
Somebody shoot me please 
Maybe someone already did
Because why am I bleeding so much?!
I need a hug
Just hold me 
Tell me everything would be okay 
I’m scared

Don’t leave me

Hi guys! Hope you’re staying safe? How’s the social distancing working out for you? I’ve been reading and writing. Anyways, I wrote this a month ago when I was feeling really low and I couldn’t seem to explain how I felt to anyone. I feel like a lot of people don’t really understand what we go through every month...well at least those of us who go through extremely painful periods accompanied with mood swings and nausea on the side. Soon I’d be taking my time to explain the few things I know about this or at least my experience, so you all can know that we aren’t OVARY-ACTING!

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  1. I didn't know what to write until today.
    The constant tingling pain in my knee
    That accelerates with the one in my abdomen.
    The excessive need to use the toilet, my body probably unaware we are in a public place, and I don't like public toilets.
    Today I was upset with my best friend and I almost cried but instead I laughed. I never observed the mood swings before, I didn't even know they existed, usually focused on hiding the pain or checking if there's a spot of blood on my cloth. My fear is almost extreme as I stick with dark colours cos it's safer, trousers cos it feels better. No we are not exaggerating not everywoman feels this. But some days,I'm alright,I'm fine. I'm a woman but I'm a beautiful mess.