Let’s do better I

by - 6:16 PM

Let’s do better...

There are a lot of behaviours that our generation has picked up from the one before us. And it’s not just behaviours. Characters, sayings, beliefs and so on have been passed on to us because they were the norms in the past generations. Our parents’ generations are exceptional in a lot of ways. They’ve gone through a lot just for us to have good lives. They’ve sacrificed a lot for us to get to certain places in life that they could never be when they were our age. They take out their time to pray for us and teach us the word of God, so that we would know wrong from right early in life. Like I said, they’re exceptional people. There are just some things that I think shouldn’t move on to our generation. There are some things that I would say in the midst of my friends and they would immediately relate. Why? It’s almost the same everywhere. It’s like all of our parents are in a group and they come together to discuss new ways of disciplining us.

This isn’t to shame anyone or insinuate that our parents didn’t raise us right. If you think that’s the point I’m making here, you’ve totally missed it. If for anything, I know my mother is an amazing woman. I doubt that I can do half the work she does with her hands a lot of times. Haven’t you ever seen your Father or Mother spend hours praying for you while you were busy pressing your phone? Has your Father not spent most of his time in traffic and still woken up very early the next morning to get ready for work? My friends tell me the wonderful things their parents do and it amazes me. There are just some things that we see as normal that are not. I know times have changed and everyone is “woke” now, so a lot of people do things to the extreme. But then again, the truth still remains that TIMES HAVE CHANGED. You can’t think it’s okay for you to ask me why I was at a guy’s house when I come to you, my parent, to tell you I was molested. That can’t be the first thing that comes out of your mouth. How about you support me first and doing the “parenting” later? I might have been wrong to let my guard down or trust so easily or stay out so late at night or get drunk for pete’s sake!  But it would never be okay for you to rub it in my face that way because you think I’m a bad child. I’ve heard a lot of adults’ take on the issue of rape and it’s depressing. Again, I might have made a mistake but you should always be my safe space. Are our children going to think they can count on us?  If they’ve really messed up, would they feel like they can run to us and not away from us?

Whether we know it or not, we tend to pick up one character or the other from our Parents/Guardians. The issue of choosing a spouse and marriage is one that still bugs me till this day. Even in our relationships, some of the behaviours we’ve picked up from our parents, as they are our role models in this area, comes out to play.  In a conversation I had with a guy, he jokingly talked about me cooking for him and that led him to ask me how good I am in the kitchen. I’ve always hated conversations like that. You don’t know how to boil rice but you’re concerned about the fact that I cannot pound yam. Honestly, I don’t know how to pound yam. Shoot me. But if I want to learn how to, I would. It doesn’t make me less qualified to be a great mother or wife. And if you think I would want to marry you that can’t boil ordinary rice so I can end up being your full time “caretaker”, you’ve got another thing coming.

We’ve gotten used to having girls do all the chores and cooking while boys “learn how to be men”. If you don’t drop that mentality, you’ll remain behind because things are a lot different now. Imagine having a spouse who is literally a partner. Someone who would pick up your slack and have you do the same for him/her too when need be.  Trust me, it’s an amazing feeling.

Check yourself. Do you think there are some behaviours you might need to readjust or unlearn totally? We’ll talk more on this in the next post. Have an amazing week guys❤️

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  1. you can't boil water and you want me to be able to pound yam.
    Bruh, you are not qualified to be my partner...
    Let everyone try to examine themselves, and try to be a better version... Way forward....

  2. Brilliant post as always! Times have definitely changed but we shouldn't let the wokeness make us even forget the value of some things, like proper parenting even though it'll be adjusted to suite what we've now learnt, it is still quite a task that gets me thinking a lot, especially in todays world. Great post Bee

  3. Those groups parents learn these things from ehn,maybe it's from Heaven or from the village, i donno, but yeah it's raining my parents will be out, I will be home doing God knows what, so they are really trying, you got that right. Also, I think I can't pound yam lol. I have accepted this gal cooking, guy doing wateva thing cos this is how we were brought up here, and I don't fault my dad for not doing certain things himself cos he barely has time to do so. But it doesn't mean I want the same thing when I'm in my own home. Even if I marry someone that can't cook, I don't mind showing you how, cos we all need a break sometimes, even parents need a break from children🙄 probably why they spend the whole Saturday at a party.

  4. I'm grateful to God for how my parents raised me and how they're always willing and available to hear and understand me..But there are still some things considered as norm to them that sometimes seem like a norm to me that I wouldn't want to pass on to my children...so yes most definitely we need to do better in this generation