Will you be your Valentine?

by - 11:53 AM

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Be Your Own Valentine.

Last month we had to deal with the pressure of New year’s resolutions. This month, it’s Valentine’s. February is known as the season of love and just know that throughout this month and even a little bit into March, you would have to deal with a lot of heart shaped balloons and talking teddy bears. It’s Valentine’s and almost everyone wants to show how much they love someone or that they are loved. Just like the new year, Valentine comes with its own pressure. What happens when I don’t get a gift? Does that mean no one loves me? Why do I even ever have to ask myself that question? Who could love me better than me? Before diving into self love, let’s first go a little bit back in time.

The History Of Valentine’s Day.

Although we associate the 14th of February (and maybe even the entire month) with romance, the actual story is far from chocolate hearts, dinner reservations and surprise proposals. In fact, Valentine’s day is more religious than romantic. According to Wikipedia, it actually started out as a celebration/holiday to honor Saint Valentine who was a Christian Martyr. This means that he died as a result of his declaration of his faith in Jesus Christ. As different additions were made to the story, somehow it all became related to love. One legend claims that Valentine actually sent a gift to a girl he fell in love with after he was jailed which he signed “from your valentine”. It was also said that the girl was his jailer’s daughter. 

Self Love.

Who could be more worthy of your love if not you? Loving yourself isn't selfish at all. Being selfish means that you lack consideration for others and that you are mainly concerned with your gain or pleasure without caring if it affects others, even if it's in a negative light. Loving one's self doesn’t hinder you from loving anyone else. In fact, I believe that genuinely loving yourself can help you love others better. It would also set the tone and or boundary for other people’s love towards you. I wouldn’t expect to be treated like a Queen when I don't even think that highly of myself. So, this valentine, take out time to show yourself that you love YOU.

Bee's self love checklist

5 Steps to take towards loving yourself.

1.Be Kind to Yourself: We all make mistakes but how we react to them are different. Some people act like they are right when they do and refuse to agree with anyone that’s trying to correct or advise them. Others get emotional and try to learn from their mistakes. But there are some people who beat themselves up, call themselves names and even try to “punish” themselves when they do something wrong or fail at something. Be kind to yourself. You should be your own best friend as well as your cheerleader. 

2. Forgive Yourself: How could you not? Forgive yourself for the things you have done to others and the ones you did to yourself. Forgive yourself for everything. Do it over and over, because you aren’t perfect. To read further on this, click here.

3. Say “I LOVE YOU”: Tell yourself that you love YOU. When we truly love ourselves, we find that we are a whole new being. Your level of confidence goes up and you find yourself doing the things that you didn’t think you could. Loving one’s self comes with a glow and healthy pride that others can see. It changes the way people see you and relate with you. Compliment yourself. Tell yourself you are beautiful or handsome. Once you know and believe that, there’s no way in the world that someone out there would make you feel less.

be your own valentine theafricanbee

4. Kill Your Insecurity: Kill that thing that tells you that you’re not enough (not your ex though). Your weight or dress size doesn’t define your worth. I have said this over and over and I’m saying it again. Sad people tend to project their

5. Reward Yourself: It’s valentine’s after all. Get yourself something you love! Encourage yourself with uplifting words. Make it clear to yourself that you are proud of everything you’ve accomplished. Take care of yourself.

Bonus: Cut out every toxic branch. Whether it is a friend, a boyfriend or girlfriend, a colleague, a job or even a family member. You can’t be trying to improve yourself while someone somewhere continues to sabotage all your hard work. Do not let bitter people project their insecurities onto your life. I love you. Happy Valentine's.

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