It's not worth it.

by - 4:57 PM

Hello guys! I want to appreciate everyone who read my last blog post and encouraged me. It meant everything to me. It might have even made things better and I'm very grateful. I couldn't finish the blog post because it felt like too much. But God won't give us more than we can handle, right? I questioned a lot of the things that made me ME. And that was very tough but I can honestly say now that I'm way better than I was. I'm not where I feel like I should be just yet but I'm good and thankful.

My feelings were and are still valid.

As much as I knew I needed time away from people, things and maybe life, I also wanted things to go back to normal. I wanted to write new blog posts and take pictures and make videos, but I couldn't. I've only been able to write a few poems for my poetry page on Instagram @wordsbytab (you should check it out and please like and follow), but it has not been as smooth as it normally would. Sometimes I would tell myself to get over my “self-pity” and just do the needful. But that was just me being cruel to myself. It was never self-pity. My feelings were and are still valid. Time actually heals and you can't cheat time. 

I've had some job offers in the past month that felt like such an insult. They were always so impressed by my CV but refused to pay well for the services they required. Then there were jobs that I honestly did not want even with the very attractive package. But when I found out that I didn't get them, it made me sad. Why should I be sad about something I didn't want? The fact that I'm able to write this blog post is a huge deal for me. This means progress and you're experiencing this moment with me. This is a reminder that you are human and you have emotions. If you need time, then you need it. If you cheat yourself, your body will make up for it somehow. Going through such a low period and then seeing people out there making it was tough on me. Even with the knowledge that it isn't entirely real, social media can take a toll on you. My anxiety level has been through the roof these past months like never before. I needed the time I took. If you need the time, take it. Don't push it. You might end up making things worse and it's not just worth it love.

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  1. Did I just #1090 😳😳 not encouraging .

  2. N1090?πŸ€―πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£
    They must have been on cheap weed. The sad thing is some other persons are willing to take the offer just to see money to eat. Well, this life is not balance